How often do we put ourselves down, believing that we are no good, a failure, unworthy, doomed? As human beings most of us do this all the time, every day, perhaps even every hour of each day. We tell ourselves that we can never match up, be good enough, achieve our dreams, succeed and yet society tells us that we only have to believe in ourselves and we can manifest whatever we desire.
So when we don’t achieve or believe in ourselves, we tell ourselves that we are no good, failures, unworthy, doomed and of course this reinforces the negative self-talk that circles round in our heads.
Basically, for most of our lives we are living in our heads, listening to our self-talk, believing everything that we fill our heads with and self-fulfilling this prophecy – a prophecy of doom.
This then causes us to take action in response to this self-belief. It may be that we sink into depression or we go on a shopping binge, binge on food, drink or take drugs, complain to a friend or decide that ‘if only I could look like her/him, then my life would become so much better’ and off we go for plastic surgery only to discover that any supposed success is temporary and we are back to where we started from.
We are basically going around in circles, trying to make things better, trying to find the key to happiness, but of course true happiness, peace and contentment elude us as we go around in circles of habitual behaviours. Our constant striving, wanting, desiring, and feeling that we don’t have enough is what causes us to suffer. We basically, create our own suffering.
We look outside of ourselves for answers and discover that there are so many different people telling us that they have found the secret to creating success in our lives. That we should buy their secret to success. However, we can’t buy success and that is the truth. The truth is that unless we can change something fundamental in our hearts and minds, no amount of doing ‘this’ or doing ‘that’ will make any difference. The outcome will be the same.
The truth is that we have to change if we want to succeed. The only way that we can truly change is by having a different outlook, a different view. We need to recognise and control ego. The ego that is responsible for all the self-condemnation and all the grasping and neediness and desire that controls and dominates our lives. We need to look within instead of looking for answers in the world outside of ourselves.
We need to basically, ‘get our of our heads’, let go of the self-defeating thoughts. See those thoughts for what they are – empty, not real or substantial – have a look – can you find any substance to those thoughts? They are as insubstantial as clouds in the sky. They come and go and the problem is that we believe them to be substantial.
When we start to practice meditation, it is an act of real bravery. We are maybe confronting our minds perhaps for the first time and it can be quite challenging. We start to observe our thoughts, recognising and getting to know our thoughts, start to make friends with ourselves and practice letting go of those thoughts as they arise. We begin to recognise our thinking patterns and how repetitive they are and often how unhelpful they are. We begin to recognise those thoughts for what they are – insubstantial, not solid, not actually real. As we practice letting go we notice that we are becoming stronger, taming our minds, and our hearts start to open. As our hearts open, we see that we are the cause of our own suffering and we can see the suffering of others and we feel compassion. Meditation is the only way to achieve this.
Discovering our heart of goodness is just that. We meditate, we watch our thoughts, realise their insubstantiality, let them go and miraculously, our hearts start to open and we become alive to reality. The reality that we create our suffering when we believe what is being said in our heads. When we listen to the whispering of our hearts we gain real insight to our own truth and to true reality. We start to build peace, contentment and inner confidence, strength and compassion. That is the true and only way to achieve success. We have to change and be brave enough to take the first steps to change.
May all beings benefit.
Blog by Christine Jeffcutt
Discovering Your Heart of Goodness
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